No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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