I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize