conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
