the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
