did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
