can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
