I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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