Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
