It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
