I'm sorry my penis didn't work
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Bring me that man meat
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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