Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
