i just had sex bonerless
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize