If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
