i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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