he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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