I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
