theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
