i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
sarcasm needs its own font
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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