i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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