Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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