She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
