It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
