I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I skipped work to stalk him.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
