I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
