He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize