That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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