We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is wine microwaveable?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
