You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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