Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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