I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
