This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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