Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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