Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
