Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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