Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
