I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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