Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
