I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So squirting runs in the family.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
