This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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