the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
