she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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