why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
