Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize