I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
