Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
