she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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