let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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