She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
