2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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