wakey wakey hands off snakey
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize