Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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