all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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