Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize