I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
