I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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