You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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