youre lurking in front of me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
